When we train for our line of work, we are (usually!) enthusiastic, full of vision and clarity about how we will make a young person’s world better….

A few years down the line we might feel a little more jaded, experienced and wiser!

There will be some teenagers we find hard and who challenge us to use every skill and strategy we have to work with them; there will be others who get to us at our very core.

Supporting those we feel that connection to can give us a sense of purpose and of hope – however it can mean we have to take care of ourselves.

With these young people we need to be very clear in our boundaries and communicate them to a young person. We need to make sure we are constantly professional, yet caring and empathetic; available, yet within reason; supportive, yet accountable.

Wanting to change a young person’s life for the better and being their ‘listening ear’ gives the young person value, comfort and support – however, we need to think about ourselves in this. If we cared for every young person we worked with that level of support – we really wouldn’t be able to be ‘professional’ for long. The role of teacher/support worker/mediatory would blur with therapist/counsellor/mentor and we would be burned out very quickly.

There will be teenagers and families whose world you can change by making a few phone calls and signposting to agencies for care. There will be others that you journey with for the length of their school careers and who you feel some ‘responsibility’ for – tell your line manager or a colleague, set yourself boundaries around this child, tell the child what those boundaries are, don’t make yourself the center of their only positive relationship – encourage colleagues to also be involved in offering support, perhaps consider how you can support the parents or carers to develop their relationship with the child…. 

Basically: keep a congruent, accountable relationship that won’t burn you out and doesn’t make you the center of their world.

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