The blog post below was written by Verity, a 24 year old wishing to share her story of recovery. She hopes you enjoy reading it, maybe it will inspire you to start your journey?
People wont believe me, they'll think I'm lying, I'm just an attention seeker.... Sound familiar? Read on....
I'm Verity, I'm 24 and this is MY story of self harm.
I know how it is, its the first thing you think of when you wake up, the thought of it is what keeps you going throughout the day. You need to relax, you need relief. You want nothing more than the sun to start setting so you can close your curtains, light a candle and begin.....
Do you wear a long sleeve top even though you know your going to get hot and sweaty. Or do you wear a short sleeve top and try your hardest to ignore those red lines, to ignore people looking at them.
I'm not writing this to tell you that self harming is wrong or that you need to stop doing it. I am simply writing this to tell you; I know how it is, I've been there and I wish to share my story of recovery.
I know first hand how frustrating it is when someone sits in front of you and says... 'Go for a walk' …. 'Take a bath' ….. 'Read a book'. You look at the floor and nod your head, tears streaming down your face. Your trying to hold back your anger when all you want to do is stand up, scream and punch a hole through the wall so you can run away. Again, sound familiar? Please keep reading!
Now, hear me out, recovery is not an overnight diary entry. It is a long process, a stop-start journey, a one step forward-two steps back hike.
It is a gradual process with many twists and turns, ups and downs.
That's okay. It okay to get better then worse again. Its okay to stop and then start again. Its okay, I know how it is.
You've got this far so you may as well keep reading....
How about starting off with lifestyle changes and to make that sound less scary, all I mean is, small routine adjustments;
Get Creative
Use your free time to work on one (or however many!) of the following;
- Make a scrap book. A place where you can glue and scribble! Thoughts, feelings, day or middle of the night. This is YOUR scrapbook.
- Create a photo album. Have your favourite photos to hand, add to it daily. Write on the back of the photographs what the pictures mean to you.
- Write a blog. The online blogging community is huge! It is a good way to connect with other fellow bloggers who are writing about a similar subject to you. You can blog about almost anything! [NEVER reveal any personal info about yourself.]
- Start a journal or diary. This can be a day-by-day thing or it can be as and when you feel like it! Its a bit like a chance to write your own book, your story told by you.
Take care of yourself
Try to do one of the following atleast twice a week;
- Eat a piece of fruit or veg and perform a workout DVD or exercise video on YouTube (20 mins).
- Eat a piece of fruit or veg and take a 20 minute walk. On this walk, I want you to make note of all the animals you see and make a conscious effort to spot little insects.
- Eat a piece of fruit or veg and take 20 minutes to do something healthy for yourself. Make yourself a facemask or footmask, moisturise your skin, make a fruit smoothie. Get some goodness in you!
Take time for you
Find something YOU love doing and make time to do it each week. Here are just a few ideas;
- Take the scenic route and take pictures of natural beauty spots, views, statues, cool stones or leaves that you find. Capture it on camera!
- Visit the free attractions/museums in and around the area you live in. Many cities will have historic ruins and/or museums which are free or very low-cost to explore!
- Volunteer helping others. We rise by lifting others so offer an hour or 2 of your time doing something nice for someone else! Cleaning, gardening or simply making a cuppa tea! It may be through a church or a charitable organisation, reach out and see where it leads you!
You still with me? Good! Last little bit....
Now, I am well aware that these may not help everyone but I wanted to write this. For me. For YOU.
So go on, give it a go, give it a chance and see what happens. Start your recovery journey, you'll learn what works for you and what doesn't. That's the beauty of journeys. And who knows, maybe one day, it'll be you who is sat in bed, typing about YOUR story of self harm.
I know how it is.
