4 little words mean so much. Any 4 words don't cause much pain but these do. I- yourself. Want- feel the need. To- present past or future. Die- no longer breath this god forsaken air. I kept telling my self this over and over in my head, I was honestly a complete mess. What got me most was when I would be all alone in my bedroom contemplating death and just think to myself: why in the hell are you still here? I said these four words every single day to myself. I felt worthless. Pathetic. Useless. What couldi do for this world ? What can I do to become useful. I couldn't that was the whole thing. I can't be any of those things because I as a person am stupid. Living to me is just breathing. I don't embrace anything in life. I don't deserve to live. I once did something so pathetic I hate to think I could of... x

Comments (1)

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Panel Member

By: Charlie

on: 23.01.15

I’m sorry you are having those thoughts at the moment. Although sometimes it can feel quite bleak and there isn’t anything to live for or you don’t have anything to contribute to the world - this is just your perception and we all have something that we can bring to this world. You make a huge difference and you are useful, whether you believe that right now or not.

I wonder if there is anyone you are able to talk to about the way you are feeling? Is there a close friend that you feel comfortable talking to and can trust? Or a teacher? A family member? If not, maybe your GP would be a good place where you can access some support? They will be able to refer you to the relevant services that could offer you the support you need.

Also we offer online Alumina live groups; which give you the opportunity to explore what got you to the place of self-harm, maybe the triggers that set you off to self-harm and looking into some alternative, more positive, coping strategies that you could use when feeling the urge to self-harm. For more information or to sign up head over to alumina.selfharm.co.uk.

If you have anymore questions or just need somewhere to share feel free to comment below.

Hope this helps, take care, Charlie