Think of a girl about to turn 16, she's had a hard life but she don't complain. She's seen things no one needs to see but took it in her stride as life went by. She cried every night but no one Hurd even if they did they wouldn't come help. She lost her brother years ago to car crash. Years went by she start to cry even more. Then one day she loses her grandpa. Yeah it hurt her alot but still she took it in her stride as as her life passed by. Everyone knew her as the happy girl the girl that would do anything but wouldnt let anyone in on her feeling. Maybe that was her problem,she needed someone but didn't know what to say.. At the age of 12 she start to self harm as time went by it goes worst, her life was mess but no one knew. That 'happy girl' was no where in site. She start to cut more and more. Her arms her leg her side are badly bruised too, but no one noticed because she wore cloths that cover her up.. At 15 this girl was bad. She got kicked out school for throwing a chair, she knew her grandpa was dying she just didn't know when. This was the second man she would lose in her life. Her behaviour got worst she didn't care. She was smoke weed just to get by. She got that used to weed it wasn't enough so she start drinking but that didn't help.. She didn't care what people said. Months later she started a new school not a normal school but one for naughty children. She was there not even two month when she got kicked out for throwing a knife. She went home that night and she acted like normal until 7pm when she found out her grandpa died. Her heart was broke no word can descried. The only thing on her mind was was suicide, but instead of that she took the blade put it to her wrist and cried again. Once she was finished she went out with her mates. Got drunk go stoned all over again. She forgot all the pain till the very next day. Month later she met this boy she knew he was the one to get her by. He promised never to brake her heart but he lied as month later he cheated on her with this tart. But she stood by his side thinking it would change but it never did,he did it again. She gave up and slit her arms she didn't want to be here anymore she wanted to be dead but she didn't succeed, she went to school like normal vodka in hand. She got to the school gate and started to cry she felt this pain in her arm. She looked down it was as red as wine. She didn't know what to do she passed out. The school rushed her to the hospital to find out that she was close to death. But all it did was make her grin. She didnt care she was happier like this.. She got better or so the thought she finished school and went on to college but that didnt work it made her worst. That night she ended up trying suicide, tablets bleach vodka and weed but it didnt work its just made her really sick.. But she reach 17 and life seemed okkay till her boyfriend cheated again.. She gave up on hope and moved on, but they started talking again.. He made her do stuff that's hard to tell but she took it in her stride as her life continued to pass by. She then met his mate and this is where her life changed. She had a job but couldn't keep it as she was to stoned. But that wasn't the only reason, she ran aways to this new mates and couldn't turn up to work the next day.. Whilst she was their she met this lad, he was amazing but she didnt say.. But one day her mate said the lad liked her so she told him what she thought.. 2days later their closer then before. This lad found her blade and throw them away she though she was stronger then before but sadly mistaken she wasn't that strong.. For when she and the lad moved things got hard. She found a blade one night and started to cry she slit her wrist starting to cry more.. But now she's in a mess not knowing what to do. Not knowing if tomorrow will be her last night. This world is mean I'm not going to lie, but if you self please don't do it tonight. For I'm the girl that this happened to and I don't want to see you in the same place I was. Your beautiful in you're own very way don't let the haters take that way.. If you need someone to talk you know where I am. I love you all dearly. So hush little bay don't you cry. Please put the blade away. I know its hard but tonight you'll win a fight.. ❤

Comments (2)

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By: Tabi

on: 04.03.15

Hello.
Firstly, I am so sorry to read about the loss of your brother and grandpa. That is so sad. It sounds like you have been through a lot of different things but what stands out is that you have got through them, which shows how strong you are.
I really hope things begin to get better, it might be helpful to find someone to talk to about your experiences. We have an online programme called Alumina which is a six week programme where we meet online for an hour for six consecutive weeks exploring what got you to the place of self-harm, the triggers and positive coping strategies that you can use when feeling the need to self-harm. For more information and sign up head over to alumina.selfharm.co.uk. You might find this helpful!  Thanks for sharing your story and encouraging other people to believe they can ‘win the fight’ , you can too! Take Care.

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By: Charlie

on: 04.03.15

I just want to say thank you for your recent post. I’m sorry to hear things have been so tough growing up and I hope now you are accessing the help and support you need to be able to deal with and talk through some of the things that have occurred in order to move forward and find alternatives to self-harm. Thank you for your encouragement to others, I’m sure this will be something that others are able to take with them and hopefully know they are not alone, and this applies to you too.

I hope from your encouragement you’ve written you’re able to apply some of this to yourself too and know that life doesn’t have to encounter self-harm within it, you are able to move on from this and talking to someone or writing things down are great ways to verbalise what is going on for you and allowing someone else to share this which seems to have been holding you back for far too long.

Keep that positivity within you that you are able to give to others, and I hope you manage to move forward with this; having a bright future ahead of you.

Take care,

Charlie