how do I stop my girlfriend form self-harming, she doesn't want to see anyone and she wants me to help her, her cutting has got worst and im really worried about losing her over it, because of all this going on it made me go back to it to, im not worried about myself, this isn't about me, its about her, she doesn't know im doing this but if I don't then I won't be able to do anything, I just need steps just to make her reduce them as much as possible, what could I do

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By: Tabi

on: 29.06.16

Hi there, thanks for getting in touch. I’m so sorry you guys are in such a difficult place. Your girlfriend is really lucky that you care so much and want the best of her but when supporting someone who self-harms we must also protect ourselves.

It’s not unreasonable to say you cant be responsible for helping her alone ...perhaps you can help her to think through adults in her life that she could maybe confide in or work through with her how seeing a doctor could help you both ...I know this can be scary but they are the people who can support and help you best - there is also a post about seeing a doctor on our article section ...perhaps you could both sign up to Alumina, our online recovery course…it takes you through six weeks of activities, reading and discussion that help you to process and understand what is happening to you and the feelings you have. It’s free and aimed at helping you find your own solutions.

Perhaps it may help to tell her about your harm…could you encourage each other to cut back to choose to talk to each other instead of cutting or to experiment with other distraction techniques and explore what works for you both?

I really hope you’ll be able to find a way forward together.

By: morgan_gardner66

on: 06.09.16

I cant stop cutting. My Boyfriend well Ex now left me because of it and my mum says im a shame to the family. My dad abused me for the 4 years my mum was in prison and i was accused if molesting my brother. i dont know what to do and im scared.