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I've had depression for 3 years and I tend to self-harm quite regularly.
The main reason for my depression would be my family, they are controlling, verbally, and sometimes physically, abusive.
The most the abuse got to was banging my head to a wall, but that only happened once, thankfully.
I am afraid of seeking help from my school due to the fact that they might inform my parents of what's going on. My brothers tell me to "suck it up" when my mother starts taking out her anger on me, my whole family thinks I fake my tears and act depressed to gain attention and it just shatters me. I also have social anxiety which causes me to feel very uncomfortable around crowds of people but my family dismisses that and thinks nothing of it.
My father judges me a lot and tells me to change the way I live by reading religious books and teachings..etc. He gets easily fed up with my shy behaviour and starts insulting me. He wants me to stop doing things that I love such as drawing, painting and reading in order to indulge in religion and I don't like how he thinks, I even found out that my parents are planning to get me into an arranged marriage when I'm 18.
My life isn't all that bad, sure, my brother sometimes takes me to events I enjoy and my mother bakes me a cake for my birthday..etc. so I'm not too sure whether the situation I'm dealing with is normal or not as one part of me screams to tell someone but the other tells me to just deal with it.
I'd like to know honestly if I am making a big deal about everything. Thank you.