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I self-harmed several years ago and was told to stop by my mum, she thought it was 'something someone like me (whatever that means) wouldn't do', so I never really dealt with it properly. I'm in my second year at uni and it was like the moment I left home, the flood gates opened. I started self-harming again, worse than before, and, after going to counselling and therapy over the past year and a half, I've been told that i have depression and anxiety. My counsellor has suggested that i try antidepressants as everything is kind of getting worse, i.e binge drinking, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and panic attacks with vomiting pretty in random situations (and eating problems according to them) and I'm considering starting them.I don't know how to say any of this to my doctor, to be honest I've been avoiding going to the doctor about this for some time. I don't know where to start or what I say, how I explain what I do, what it feels like or anything. I don't know if this makes sense, but I know there's stuff wrong, but I feel guilty and weird when I admit it, like I just need to snap out of it.Also if the doctor prescribes antidepressants or more therapy or whatever and I change my mind, can I back out? I don't want to feel like this, I really can't cope with it anymore, but I'm worried about what 'fixing' it will involve (hospitals are a pretty non-negotiable no)? What is the doctor likely to do when I go?