I am a parent of a self harmer, i want to support my child in every way possible, but i feel like i am failing them. I want to fix everything, please can someone support me/advise me

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By: lennie

on: 08.02.15

I am a child of 16 who self harms and my parents have been nothing besides wonderful after I told them that I self harm. Trust me, from a child’s perspective, the best thing you can do is offer support if and when they need it.
My Mum went on Google, and looked at methods and techniques on how to stop, so she could be a part of it and help me and support me at the same time, making sure I was ok. We read about The Butterfly Project. This is when you get a biro and you draw a butterfly anywhere on your body; and name it after someone who wants you to stop. In your child’s case, she could name his/her butterfly after you. The rule is that you can’t wash it off or self harm whilst the butterfly is there as you will hurt it. It’s a motivational thing really but the good thing about it is that you too, can draw a butterfly and name it after him/her that way they can feel more motivated and determined to stop because they know that you want them too. It worked with me as I am now 5 months free with my butterfly proudly perching on my wrist, my Mum’s on her stomach as a sign that I am still her little girl.
Hope this helps x

By: oxon_mum

on: 22.02.15

Just be calm and talk whenever your child allows you to. It’s got to be about them and helping them to find a way to cope. If you can get to the GP do. We’ve now been referred for counselling and I’m hoping they will help my daughter to find strategies for going forward and that may help longer term as well as now. Don’t get angry and don’t heap on your own worries. This is the hardest thing. For the first few days, I was paranoid, wanting to know where she was and why she wasn’t where I thought she’d be. But be calm, be there, be supportive, encourage your child to talk to you, relate back to your own childhood struggles. It all makes you more human. It’s hard and you’ll get no thanks for being intrusive, but you get to know that you are doing all you can.

By: Lth0807

on: 21.11.15

Why do I feel like I have let my daughter down I know it’s all about Amy but I still feel as though I have let henr dowbn